Talking About My Degeneration: a Manifesto to End the Jackassery of Cohortism

Don’t know Jack Shit* about our Generations:
Degenerational Warfare and a Manifesto to End the Jackassery of Cohortism

Jack Shit* From Urban Dictionary (.com) - Nothing, or something equivalent to nothing. Jack shit has the remarkable property that its absence and presence are identical. Typically used with or without a negative to describe a total lack of knowledge, value, or significance. Its use carries a strong negative connotation which can express frustration, disdain, ignorance, or other negative qualities. {see also SFA)

As a general rule, generalisations are stupid. And the most stupid generalisations are those based on race and on religion. But No.3 in the stupidity list is generational generalisations.
(David Dale, The Sydney Morning Herald, reviewing the book by Ryan Heath, Please Just F* Off, It’s Our Turn Now (Pluto Press)).

Cohortism: All can be explained by generational membership; and that the selected few – exemplifies the “group” (fallacy; fail; lazy; and ignorant).

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I guess I’m going to test the “roguishness” of this blog site by jumping into the hot zone of generational labels and “who is better than the other generation,” and what generation is God’s gift to the cosmos, and which generation supposedly created evil (in all of its manifestations) and what generation did this and did that, what generation is bestest, which generation bought the most shoes and which generation screwed up the election, and which generation can’t find their ass, and which generation invented the internet, and which generation is best known for its hypocrisy.

  

Furthermore, I hope to start some momentum to begin the process of dismantling, destroying, disintegrating and disassociating every label ever created (and cranked out like the old-school machine that produced plastic strips of peel off labels –

  

“Hey kid’s it’s the Acme label maker- just pull the trigger and create your own label!”) for any of the so-called generational groups that have – that do – or purport to soon exist in this country. 

 I have had it with these insipid and mindless labels and the marketing and media hacks that latch on to the labels as though they were the powerful axioms or go on treat generational labels as though they were infallible rules of causation. (e.g, WWII = automatic sainthood; Boomer = sick puppy; Gen X = less than zero; Millennials = indulgent little shits).

Let me just say that these labels are, if anything, examples of weak correlation (at best). Oh, hell…Let me just say it – it’s all a load of crap.

I think that these labels are convenient window-dressing for profiteers, marketing consultants, disgruntled pundits, the captains of enterprise, political wonks, and those reporters who excel in jassackery in order to create glib sound bites passing for “insight” and then they deliberately ramp-up the reckless “blame game” on social ills and cultural deficits on a group of people (take your pick) roughly born around the same time in order to “explain” whatever phenomena the producers of the shows want to “investigate.” 

And because the actual “truth” or the evidence, or the data, or the research findings are either to difficult to collect, to hard to find, or to complicated to interpret, the default is to blame the “generation” (preferably not your own – of course) ahead of you >>>>”me”<<<<< or behind you. The generational labels that drive the dumb-downed newscasts and the sophomoric analyses of patterns, trends, projections, and prognoses are based on as much science as the utterances of the Cumean Sybil breathing the vapors or the prophecy one can get from the Ouija board. In other words, not much.

I know, I know…you like to place your “things” and “stuff” in tidy little Tupperware boxes and place them just so on your shelf –or get your eggs just so in every little pocket - 

  

but that dog won’t hunt with capturing the nuances of the vast and diverse world of individuals born between any given year “x” and year “y”.

So I am saying we can do better than that. So lets review the cranked out labels so far:

Lost Generation, G.I. Generation, Silent generation, boom generation, 13^th generation (see Strauss and Howe, 1997); New Worlders, Hard Timers, Good Warriors, Luck Few, Baby Boomers, Generation X, New Boomers (see Carlson, 2008; Zuehlke, 2008); greatest generation, boomers, millennials, post-boomers, leading-edge boomers, shadow boomers, echo boomers, Millennium Generation, the Net Generation, Generation NeXt, Generation Y2K, the Sunshine Generation, the Bittersweet Generation, the Little Boomers, the Digital Generation, Generation Y, Generation WHY, Generation Now, Generation Jones, Generation Z, Generation C, Facebook Generation, Cuspers, Texting Generation…etc. etc. ad infinitum >>>>>>>>>

Enough! Cease and desist. Put the label maker down slowly…Step back and let me see your hands…

But before we pull the plug on these brainless labels, I have – (and I can’t help myself) – to get the scholarly “wooden stake” out and drive it into the heart of the worst label of all. I mean I need to kill it once and for all – I am loading the chamber with a silver bullet.

Time to pull the trigger on the label “baby boomers” – once and for all – and forever.  I know… it won’t be easy.

The beast is big (48 million – some say 80 million) and it is hard to put down (they just don’t get old and die). For example, DYK:

In 2009, the oldest of the baby boomers, the generation born between 1946 and 1964 (so says the US Census Bureau) will turn 63 years old.
{Will we still love them, when they turn 64?}

78.2 million: Estimated number of baby boomers, as of July 1, 2005.
{see Boomer Death Counter below – for boomer haters, the number can only get lower; for boomers it also means the boom is f-f-fading away (also see below)}

7,918: Number of people turning 60 each day in 2006, according to projections. That amounts to 330 every hour.

50.8%: Percentage of women baby boomers in 2005.

57.8 million: Number of baby boomers living in 2030, according to projections; 54.9 percent would be female. That year, boomers would be between ages 66 and 84.

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Now wonder, many are worried about the future. That’s a lot of older baby boomers milling about – doing what?

Now some have told the “boomers” to “Please Just F* Off, It’s Our Turn Now” (Ryan Heath) which is ironic, given that a “boomer” song, “It’s My Generation” offered a kinder, gentler proclamation (“Why don’t you all f-fade away”) – and some even have a “boomer death watch” underway (“http://www.boomerdeathcounter.com/”). Yes, it’s true – there is a digital ticking away of the seconds to when the last scum-sucking bottom-feeder boomers go extinct. Some idiots have proclaimed that because we will see the helicopter lift off and carry away Bush to wherever and then is replaced by President Obama – the boomers time is over. Right…think again. Look at the Cabinet positions- look at the advisors – the ages – the generations are mixed, diverse, and I predict Obama will transcend the use of generational labels as “excuses” or “causality” and reach out to all – in order to address the challenges ahead.

All of this dancing on the grave of boomers is not only premature; it is a classic example of cohortism (yeah, I know another –ism),
which is just plain dumbass {ignoranus.}

Cohortism is, “any attitude, action, or institutional structure which subordinates a person or group because of their cohort affiliation [or identity} or any assignment of roles in society purely on the basis of cohort membership." 

Now there is a difference between “cohort humor” and “cohortism.”

For example, here is cohort humor (from The Onion):

Long-Awaited Baby Boomer Die-Off To Begin Soon, Experts Say

WASHINGTON, DC - Census Bureau deputy director Arthur Clausewitz said at a press conference, “… the Great Boomer Die-Off should hit full stride in approximately 2015, when the oldest members of the Baby Boom generation—born during the last days of World War II—turn 70.

"Before long, tens of millions of members of this irritating generation will achieve what such Boomer icons as Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Timothy Leary and John Kennedy already have: death. Before long, we will live in a glorious new world in which no one will ever again have to endure tales of Joan Baez's performance at Woodstock." Despite his enthusiasm, Clausewitz cautioned that the Great Boomer Die-Off will not be without its downside. "Our nation must steel itself for one vast, final orgy of Boomer self-obsession as we are hit with a bewildering onslaught of magazine pictorials, hardcover coffee-table books and multi-part, Motown-soundtracked television specials looking back on the glory days of the 1960s," Clausewitz said. "But once this great, final spasm of nostalgia passes, the ravages of age will take its toll on boomer self-indulgence, and the curtain will at long last fall on what is regarded by many as the most odious generation America has ever produced."

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Pretty funny and dripping with sarcasm. Is it the truth? – Nahhhhhhh.

So, if I call you a “greedy geezer”, “yuppie”, “slacker”, “overachieving brown-noser product of helicopter parents”, “a premature textualator” – I believe that would be an indicator of prejudice/ bias against someone for thinking that the ONE INDIVIDUAL is representation of the whole, which as we all know - “you know how ‘they’ can be.’ It’s when inductive reasoning forgets the reason-ing.

And while it is evidence-based that some “boomers” are complete selfish hypocritical materialistic assholes…guess what? There are some of those in almost every group you can think of. So we need to do this>>>> We need to dismantle and de-construct the labels and we start the process with the oxymoronic label “baby-boomers.” First of all, they are not babies (anymore) and there sure as hell ain’t no “boom" either.

The “babies” are old enough to get ready to collect big-time from the various entitlement programs (Social Security) from (ironically) another set of “babies” (see other cohorts – aka "young’uns"). And the “boom” that was associated with high fertility rates – well that was the parents (the "square" generation) that did the “booming” – and now the “boomers” are - to a lot of cynics and generational war-mongers - “the bummers.” The bloom is off the boom. And perhaps the bummers, oops, I mean, boomers deserve the critique. But again the cohort is simply too massive, too diverse, and too un-lable-ready to box them all up- and send it Fed-Ex to hell.

So - No baby – no boom – no luck – no way – no how – no deal – no-thing.

Then what? If they ain’t boomers, then what do we call them?

Ahhh, Time for a cool change. Let’s call them ….Americans.

Yep, that’s right.

I am calling you out. This group, this cohort, this “generation.” No more aging hipsters, mo more “zoomers”, no more of the hypocrisy, you are not the greatest, the greater, or even “above average.” You don’t vote a certain way, you don’t dress a certain way, and even “your” music is the result of hybrid historical influences. I propose that we (the so-called boomers) have not done a damn thing yet.

And therein lies the promise to finally make amends. This country deserves much more from aging Americans. 

            Time to grow up – and give back.

We are here – and now – for something bigger and better than “us.”

Every younger citizen is watching – and learning. I hereby declare that all baby boomers have shed their skin.
All boomers have had the epiphany – “Holy shit…It’s not about me…it’s about all of us.” {the rest of you say - "It's about time!} 

All boomers will not use the label “boomers” or use any other low-wattage labels for generations [starting…………….. NOW !]

I promise you it will be painless, you won’t feel at thing – except for - good.

Okay, here we go….E pluribus unum – out of many, one.

Out of all ages – together.

Ask not what all the other generations can do for you — ask what you can do for all the generations.
No- I am not getting out of the way. I ain’t fading and I sure as hell am not going to F*ck Off. 

Billy Joel had a song – a sort of ****** anthem,  “We Didn’t Start the Fire” – Well, we need to start one now. Forget retirement. Time to re-create and reinvent. Since we do not know Jack Shit – why don’t we stir some up? Turn that shit up – Make this a better place – not because YOU are going to live longer, rather because you want them – all of them – to live better. You think this is bull ? You want a concrete example ? 
go to: Hands On – Greater Portland, OR : http://www.handsonportland.org/HomePage/index.php/home.html

Step up. Create a legacy for the future – not yours – but for them. If not, the only song we will hear, will be: “Talking about my degeneration.”

Thanks,

Scott D. Wright (born in 1955 – only a hundred years later after the publication of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass – how is that for feeling old?)